An emotional church service (6-26-05)…

Today at church, we celebrated baptism. I sat with Al and Karen because David was going to be occupied during much of the service and would not be able to sit with me. In fact, David was performing the baptisms. Though I wished that David could be sitting with me, I did fine through the initial worship time and the sermon which was on the significance of baptism. However, we then progressed to the four baptisms. The second person to be baptized was a little girl who was about 6 years old, Kaylyn Jones. It struck me so hard as I watched David interact with Kaylyn, ask her if she has accepted Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior and emerge her into the pool of water. I have ALWAYS thought that David would be an amazing father to a daughter and when I see him interact with little girls that thought is just confirmed even more. My mind soon started drifting to Zoe and wondering how it is going to end. Will David ever have the opportunity to baptize his own daughter? Will she be in a wheel chair and what would that look like for him to hold her and lower her into the water. As I imagined the scenarios and the possibility that none of them may occur because she may die so early in life, I could not hold back my emotions. The tears were streaming down my face for the remainder of the service…I could not hold back even a bit.

After the service came to a close, I began looking for David and hoped that he was moving my direction. It seemed that there were a lot of people around me to hug me today and I just told them that I was having an emotional morning. Al asked what he could do for me and I just told him that it was hard seeing David baptize Kaylyn wondering if he would even have a chance to do that with Zoe. He just hugged me for a while. I didn’t know that Karen had went to David to tell him that he might want to check on me. Soon, David came and pulled my hand from his dad and took me to a private area where he just hugged me and let me cry. I told him that it was really difficult to watch him baptize Kaylyn and how I hoped he would have the opportunity some day to baptize our Zoe. He said, “wouldn’t that be great!”