Buying a changing table (6-14-05)…

Ever since finding out that I am pregnant, I have been looking for the perfect dresser/changing table for our baby…something inexpensive but practical. After we were given the Trisomy 13 diagnosis, all of my thoughts about the nursery became even more complicated and cloudy. Do I put together a nursery? When would I start? What if she dies before even getting to come home? A nursery was something that I had been excited about and now every thought about it is stressful. Last week, I wandered into a used furniture shop and found a cute dresser/changing table. I didn’t know what to do…should I prepare for life or death? Since I only work downtown on Tuesdays, I decided to just hold off on the decision for another week. So today, I went back into the store and saw a dresser/changing table that was less expensive and more practical. I left the store and labored over the decision…something that should not be so complicated. I called David and tearfully tried to talk through the decision with him. He assured me that it was not a silly idea to buy the changing table even if we don’t know what will happen with Zoe. David offered to pick up the dresser for me later in the afternoon. I feel relieved that the decision is made and that I can at least put that one to rest.