Sunday morning at church, my friend Jennifer spoke about returning to a childlike faith. Along with that, returning to a childlike simplicity about life. When we were a child, relationships, sleep, expectations, etc were less complicated. I love the lessons I often learn from my children. They are beautiful and energetic and carefree. Judah loves to eat dirt while Jonah loves to play in it. I often complicate even play by becoming overly focused upon the energy and cleanup that will be involved in the process. After church, I went back to being a kid (at least for a little while). The entire family took turns sliding down the slide and I wrestled Jonah in the grass. Jonah must have been quite impacted by the fun because at least a dozen times since then he has spontaneously spouted out, "hey, I have an idea. Let's do a family slide." After playing together for a bit, David and the boys began the typical mother's day tradition of planting flowers around the house for me. I get to do the fun stuff, watch and take pictures! Last year, I recall that Judah basically laid on a blanket while Jonah attempted to help David dig holes. Just a year later, Jonah was clearing dirt out of the holes with his big boy shovel while Judah was pushing mulch back into the holes. David is so patient with them and didn't mind the extra effort undoing their damage would require of him.
I feel so fortunate to have my boys. On Monday, while visiting with my friend, she asked me what Mother's Day was like for me. I knew that behind her question, she was wondering if I felt sad regarding the absence of Zoe and Micah. Though we did visit Zoe's grave just after church and we did plant lilies in memory of the two children who are no longer with me, I told her that I just cannot help but be grateful for Jonah and Judah. I love them so much that it hurts and they bring me so much joy. I am so glad that the joy of being grateful for them rather than the pain of missing my other two children can be my focus. It was a good Mother's Day.
