Writing Thank You’s (7-31-05)…
I decided that I would tackle some projects while David was gone to help the time pass more quickly. My goal was to write the thank you’s for the baby shower within the first couple of days. I decided to write a group portion of the thank you’s in addition to a personalized note and included a wallet sized group photo taken at the end of the shower. This is what the group portion said…
7-31-05
Hello Everyone-
There are some things that I wanted to say to all of you and instead of writing it over and over, I decided to type a portion of my thank you’s so that I was certain to say these important things to each and every one of you.
The shower was absolutely amazing yesterday. It was so incredibly special to me (and to David) to have so many people there supporting us. We have waited a really long time to have a baby and to have a day celebrating that event meant so much. Above all, to have all of you there in the midst of the uncertainty of Zoe’s development really demonstrated your love for us and the fact that you are praying for and routing for our little girl. That is so meaningful to me and to David and I am indescribably grateful for that support.
This morning before church, I sat down to look through the prayers and messages that you had written to Little Zoe. Wow! Yes, I cried…but they were not tears of sadness, they were tears of gratefulness and awe that our little girl is loved so much and lifted up to the Father by so many people. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You each hold a special place in my heart and Zoe will know of your prayers and messages to her. Because it is sometimes difficult to know what to pray for Zoe, I intend to echo your prayers as I pray and as I speak to her. Thank you all for your sincerity, your generosity, and your compassion over our lives.
Forever Grateful,
Christina, David and Zoe
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Leaving for Mexico...
Getting David ready for Mexico (7-30-05)…
Everyone left at about 8:00pm and David and I had a lot to do to get the house back in order and get him ready for his mission’s trip to Mexico. (David was leading a group of young adults to Mexico to build a house for a family…he and I did this trip together last summer but after I got pregnant we realized that I would not be going this year.) I took inventory of all of the gifts and started to organize and move them into the nursery while David began to pack for his trip. At about 9:45pm, we headed to Target to purchase an air mattress and then to Walmart to purchase a tool belt for the trip.
David wanted to take something with him as a visual reminder to pray for us daily while he was in Mexico. We agreed that he should take “Zoe Bear” which is the little pink beanie baby that as good friend gave to us after finding out Zoe was sick. David finally finished packing at about 11:30 and we eventually laid down in bed. I asked David if he would read Zoe one of her new books from the shower and he gladly agreed. David read Zoe, “God Gave Us You”. It was such a perfect book for her. It talked about how much we loved her and had longed for her in our lives. It also talked about how every night, we would pray that God would make her strong and healthy. It made me cry because it was so perfect. David held me as we feel asleep that night. He was going to be leaving so early in the morning that I knew I would not be fully alert to converse with him them.
David Leaves for Mexico (7-31-05)…
4:00am came extremely early. David got ready with me barely hearing him. I think that he told me goodbye at about 4:30. I remember grabbing him tightly and not wanting to let go. I said goodbye and that I loved him and was going to miss him. David walked out the door and I was about to spend a week without him. This would be the very first time to be apart this long since we have been married. Two days has been the longest to this point.
Everyone left at about 8:00pm and David and I had a lot to do to get the house back in order and get him ready for his mission’s trip to Mexico. (David was leading a group of young adults to Mexico to build a house for a family…he and I did this trip together last summer but after I got pregnant we realized that I would not be going this year.) I took inventory of all of the gifts and started to organize and move them into the nursery while David began to pack for his trip. At about 9:45pm, we headed to Target to purchase an air mattress and then to Walmart to purchase a tool belt for the trip.
David wanted to take something with him as a visual reminder to pray for us daily while he was in Mexico. We agreed that he should take “Zoe Bear” which is the little pink beanie baby that as good friend gave to us after finding out Zoe was sick. David finally finished packing at about 11:30 and we eventually laid down in bed. I asked David if he would read Zoe one of her new books from the shower and he gladly agreed. David read Zoe, “God Gave Us You”. It was such a perfect book for her. It talked about how much we loved her and had longed for her in our lives. It also talked about how every night, we would pray that God would make her strong and healthy. It made me cry because it was so perfect. David held me as we feel asleep that night. He was going to be leaving so early in the morning that I knew I would not be fully alert to converse with him them.
David Leaves for Mexico (7-31-05)…
4:00am came extremely early. David got ready with me barely hearing him. I think that he told me goodbye at about 4:30. I remember grabbing him tightly and not wanting to let go. I said goodbye and that I loved him and was going to miss him. David walked out the door and I was about to spend a week without him. This would be the very first time to be apart this long since we have been married. Two days has been the longest to this point.
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Setting up the nursery (7-30-05)…
After returning home from the shower, we brought in the gifts and I showed a lot of them to David, Dad and Eric. Again, David was so happy to see me pampered like this. After seeing the gifts, he said that he wanted to talk to me about something. David took me back to the bedroom and said that he would like for his gift to Zoe to be her crib and he wanted to go buy it right now so that we could start setting up her nursery while everyone was still here. I thought that his gesture was so sweet and knew that he was only thinking of a way for me to feel a little more settled before he left for Mexico tomorrow.David went to Babies R Us to buy the crib while my parents, Kelsea, Martha, and Tanya went with me to look at the rocker/glider that I picked out earlier this week when my parents offered to purchase
one for us. When we all arrived back home, David, my dad, and Josiah (kind of) quickly put the crib together. It was immediately starting to look like a nursery. The white furniture against the newly painted aqua walls gave the room a pottery barn for kids look. I absolutely loved the transformation the room was taking. My parents had to leave once the crib was put together because they needed to get Kelsea back home to my sister. However, we kept working on the nursery for a while after my parents left. Danny and David moved in the white dresser/changing table and Tanya and David arranged the furniture in the room until I was satisfied. Afterwards, we all sat on the floor attempting to put together the Diaper Genie. It took a while but we eventually succeeded. The room was quickly transitioning into a nursery. I hope Zoe loves her new room.
The Baby Shower (7-30-05)…
So today is the day. For so long I wondered if I would ever be the one to have a baby shower. After trying to get pregnant for so long, I know that I wondered if we would ever have a baby. Throughout the years, I have thrown about a dozen baby showers for friends. Most of them were fun for me to do, however, once David and I began struggling with our own infertility, the joy began to diminish and eventually I had to make the decision to stop throwing the showers. But today’s shower was in honor of me and Zoe. David kept saying how extremely happy he was that it was finally my turn. It meant so much for him to see me happy and being honored in this way.
Martha, Eric, and Tanya stayed at our house last night. I woke up early and T and I took a short walk through the neighborhood. When we got home, Eric and Martha were still asleep,
David was out doing a bike/run and T and I decided to start breakfast…chocolate chip and blueberry pancakes (separate, not mixed). We woke Eric and Mart up when we were finished with the cooking and David came in the door as we were serving it up. So, we all sat down and had an enjoyable breakfast together. We finished eating at about 9:30, the kitchen was a mess, and I only had a short time to get ready before my parents arrived at our house. I jumped in the shower and when I got out, I could hear my parents talking to David out in the living room. The girls all finished getting ready and we left for the shower at about 10:30. The boys stayed at the house…David watched Hannah and Josiah until his dad arrived at the house and my dad cleaned the carpet in Zoe’s room.
Martha, Eric, and Tanya stayed at our house last night. I woke up early and T and I took a short walk through the neighborhood. When we got home, Eric and Martha were still asleep,
David was out doing a bike/run and T and I decided to start breakfast…chocolate chip and blueberry pancakes (separate, not mixed). We woke Eric and Mart up when we were finished with the cooking and David came in the door as we were serving it up. So, we all sat down and had an enjoyable breakfast together. We finished eating at about 9:30, the kitchen was a mess, and I only had a short time to get ready before my parents arrived at our house. I jumped in the shower and when I got out, I could hear my parents talking to David out in the living room. The girls all finished getting ready and we left for the shower at about 10:30. The boys stayed at the house…David watched Hannah and Josiah until his dad arrived at the house and my dad cleaned the carpet in Zoe’s room.
The shower was absolutely wonderful. There were 28 girls there. Most of them were part of the Living room ministry. Karen (David’s stepmom) and her daughters, my mom and Kelsea, and Martha and Tanya were also there. Everyone was so kind and it felt so supportive to have all of them there. There was a beautiful cake and Nichole had bought an adorable willow tree of a mother holding her little baby. It was called Angel of Embrace. I loved it especially since I collect Willow Trees and this one had significant meaning. Sarah led us through some fun games, one of which is the “guess how big Christina is” game where everyone cuts a piece of yarn equal to my waist measurement. We also played a name that tune game where all of the songs had the word baby in it. Sarah asked if I would hum the songs. Baby Got Back and Ice, Ice, Baby were the most fun to hum. 
After the games, I opened up gifts. Everyone was so generous. I was really grateful that I did not get too emotional looking at all of the adorable gifts wondering if Zoe would get to enjoy all of them. I figured this would be my reaction. However, I stayed happy and upbeat throughout the entire unwrapping process. Nonetheless, I did get extremely hot from the amount of focus on me in addition to the surge of pregnancy hormones.
After unwrapping the gifts, Nichole had asked Martha to pray for me and Zoe. Nichole had asked a couple of others but they had all said that they were afraid they would cry too much. Martha was also afraid she would cry but she agreed to pray anyways. Martha prayed in a very slow, deliberate manner to avoid “embarrassing herself”. It was a wonderful, sweet prayer that obviously did make me cry. She prayed for my protection and for Zoe’s healing. Throughout the entire shower, people were asked to sign a journal for Zoe where they could write prayers or thoughts for her. I am so glad that Nichole initiated this. It will always be an invaluable possession and a constant reminder of the love and compassion people have for our little girl.
After unwrapping the gifts, Nichole had asked Martha to pray for me and Zoe. Nichole had asked a couple of others but they had all said that they were afraid they would cry too much. Martha was also afraid she would cry but she agreed to pray anyways. Martha prayed in a very slow, deliberate manner to avoid “embarrassing herself”. It was a wonderful, sweet prayer that obviously did make me cry. She prayed for my protection and for Zoe’s healing. Throughout the entire shower, people were asked to sign a journal for Zoe where they could write prayers or thoughts for her. I am so glad that Nichole initiated this. It will always be an invaluable possession and a constant reminder of the love and compassion people have for our little girl.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Finalizing Josiah’s Adoption (7-28-05)…
Earlier last week, Justin and Sandy Ullom asked if David and I would want to join them at Josiah’s adoption finalization in Indianapolis. David and I felt honored to attend the event with them. What an exciting day for their family!
Justin and Sandy picked us up at about 8:30am and we drove to Indy with them. When we arrived at the courthouse, Sandy’s brother, wife and 5 kids were there as well as an old friend from Taylor that David and I actually knew as well. April, Sandy’s sister-in-law, had twin girls about 2 months ago, and seemed to be attuned to what David and I were going through. Ironically, she and her husband were at Dr. Landwehr’s office after I came out from having the amniocentesis. I didn’t talk with them much that day because I wasn’t feeling well after the amnio and was actually about on the verge of tears. April said that she wanted to call me after seeing me that day but she just hadn’t gotten around to it. I imagine her life has been very busy since having the twins.
We spent just a little while talking to the family and then proceeded upstairs with Justin and Sandy to the 17th floor where the courtroom for the adoption hearing was. Justin said that Thursdays are the day for adoptions and the only day of the week that the judges actually look forward to coming to work. We spent just a little time waiting for the hearing to begin. By the time we were ready to start, about twenty of Justin and Sandy’s friends and family were gathered to support them. Joey would have no recollection of this day since he is only 2 months old but I think he will nonetheless understand the importance of the day.
The proceedings were very quick. The process was probably less than 10 minutes from start to finish. It was cute that the judge had Winnie the Pooh things sitting in front of him during the hearing. Basically, the attorney asked Justin about 20 questions at the stand and then Sandy took the stand and said that she would answer the questions the same way that Justin answered them. At the end, Justin and Sandy were officially declared Josiah’s parents and it was announced that his name is officially Josiah Michael Ullom. I wanted to clap in excitement but it didn’t seem like the most appropriate thing to do at that time. After the hearing concluded, we were allowed to take pictures of the judge holding Josiah with Justin and Sandy standing by him.
Justin, Sandy, Jackson, Josiah, David and I went to eat at Basbeaux Pizza to celebrate after we were finished. It is somewhat ironic that Justin, Sandy, David and I ate at that same restaurant almost 3 years ago just after Justin and Sandy had moved back into Muncie from Oklahoma. We barely knew them at that time and now they are some of our best friends. That was before kids, before infertility, and before our current craziness.
Justin and Sandy picked us up at about 8:30am and we drove to Indy with them. When we arrived at the courthouse, Sandy’s brother, wife and 5 kids were there as well as an old friend from Taylor that David and I actually knew as well. April, Sandy’s sister-in-law, had twin girls about 2 months ago, and seemed to be attuned to what David and I were going through. Ironically, she and her husband were at Dr. Landwehr’s office after I came out from having the amniocentesis. I didn’t talk with them much that day because I wasn’t feeling well after the amnio and was actually about on the verge of tears. April said that she wanted to call me after seeing me that day but she just hadn’t gotten around to it. I imagine her life has been very busy since having the twins.
We spent just a little while talking to the family and then proceeded upstairs with Justin and Sandy to the 17th floor where the courtroom for the adoption hearing was. Justin said that Thursdays are the day for adoptions and the only day of the week that the judges actually look forward to coming to work. We spent just a little time waiting for the hearing to begin. By the time we were ready to start, about twenty of Justin and Sandy’s friends and family were gathered to support them. Joey would have no recollection of this day since he is only 2 months old but I think he will nonetheless understand the importance of the day.
The proceedings were very quick. The process was probably less than 10 minutes from start to finish. It was cute that the judge had Winnie the Pooh things sitting in front of him during the hearing. Basically, the attorney asked Justin about 20 questions at the stand and then Sandy took the stand and said that she would answer the questions the same way that Justin answered them. At the end, Justin and Sandy were officially declared Josiah’s parents and it was announced that his name is officially Josiah Michael Ullom. I wanted to clap in excitement but it didn’t seem like the most appropriate thing to do at that time. After the hearing concluded, we were allowed to take pictures of the judge holding Josiah with Justin and Sandy standing by him.
Justin, Sandy, Jackson, Josiah, David and I went to eat at Basbeaux Pizza to celebrate after we were finished. It is somewhat ironic that Justin, Sandy, David and I ate at that same restaurant almost 3 years ago just after Justin and Sandy had moved back into Muncie from Oklahoma. We barely knew them at that time and now they are some of our best friends. That was before kids, before infertility, and before our current craziness.
Monday, July 25, 2005
Happy anniversary…
7-24-05
Tomorrow, David and I will have been married 7 years. We are both taking tomorrow morning off of work but thought that we would do some of the celebrating this evening. David and I decided to forego small group for the evening and head to Taylor University to Ivanhoe’s where we had our first date almost 11 years ago. Ivanhoe’s was incredibly busy but we didn’t really mind. David did however have the goal of avoiding anyone he knew and though he saw some familiar people, he was successful at avoiding interactions. David ordered a Big Panther burger and a Trojan II milkshake. I ordered a grilled chicken salad and strawberry lemonade for David and me to share. On our first date, David and I shared a strawberry lemonade and so it is sentimental to order one even if it isn’t our favorite. David chuckled when he thought about how cheap he must have seemed on our first date…we went to Ivanhoe’s and shared a strawberry lemonade. It told him
that I just thought it was sweet and didn’t think about him being cheap.
David and I sat in the back room of Ivanhoe’s reminiscing about what we first noticed and liked about each other and the good conversation we had. We also spent some time talking about Zoe and the things that we look forward to experiencing with her. We tried to answer the questions assuming that Zoe would be healthy. I said that I look forward to holding Zoe and having her look at me and smile and know that I am her mommy. I look forward to talking with and singing to her and having her fall asleep in my arms as I rock her in her nursery. I also look forward to pushing her in her stroller and taking walks through the neighborhood. David said that he really looks forward to Zoe recognizing that he is daddy and he looks forward to taking her places with him…not in a way that he is showing her off but in a way that she will remember getting to go places with daddy…like the store and out to eat, etc. David also said that he especially looks forward to having her fall asleep on his chest.
After finishing our dinner, David suggested that I get a milkshake so that he could have some of it. So we stood in the long line and ordered a chocolate peanut butter something. It was a PB shake with a crushed Reese’s stick mixed in and a scoop of chocolate ice cream and Spanish peanuts on top. We ate the shake as we drove down to Taylor to continue our date. By the way, the shake was incredible.
Earlier in the day, I had suggested to David that we pray together at the Taylor prayer chapel. Unfortunately, when we got there, we discovered that it was locked. However, we decided to improvise and sat outside the prayer chapel on the bench just outside and prayed together there. We decided to pray for our relationship and for Zoe. I started out praying for our relationship and thanking God for the seven wonderful years he has brought us through. David followed and prayed more for our relationship and then for Zoe. He thanked God for her and prayed that he would heal her completely. I sat beside him and wept. It took a while for me to gain my composure enough to even pray for Zoe, but David and I just sat there patiently until I was able to talk. I pleaded with God that he would heal our little girl whom I have truly developed a relationship with. I begged Him to afford me the luxury to watch her grow and thrive. It was a very special time praying with David. As we walked away from the prayer chapel, we talked about the need to do things like this more often.
David and I completed our date by walking around the Taylor loop, which is just over a mile. We continued to talk and enjoy our time together. It was sweltering hot so we were not able to walk for too long. We left Taylor at about 9pm and headed back home to Muncie.
Anniversary day (7-25-05)…
I awoke earlier than David did…my internal clock does not seem to allow me to sleep in as much as I used to. I decided to make us breakfast in bed…Chocolate Chip pancakes for David and Blueberry pancakes for me. He really appreciated the gesture and always loves anything with chocolate. Later that morning, we exercised on our machines in the basement. It is still too hot to do much outside so it was best to exercise in the comfort of air conditioning. David and I both went into work at about 2pm. I saw 5 clients and then came home. Earlier today, David’s dad called and said that he would treat us to dinner at the restaurant of our choice. We decided to eat at Johnnie Carino’s…a great Italian restaurant in town. David had spicy shrimp and chicken and I had my favorite, chicken piccatta. Overall, David and I had a really enjoyable couple of days celebrating our anniversary. I feel like we are really connecting lately and we both absolutely love any amount of time we are able to spend together.
Tomorrow, David and I will have been married 7 years. We are both taking tomorrow morning off of work but thought that we would do some of the celebrating this evening. David and I decided to forego small group for the evening and head to Taylor University to Ivanhoe’s where we had our first date almost 11 years ago. Ivanhoe’s was incredibly busy but we didn’t really mind. David did however have the goal of avoiding anyone he knew and though he saw some familiar people, he was successful at avoiding interactions. David ordered a Big Panther burger and a Trojan II milkshake. I ordered a grilled chicken salad and strawberry lemonade for David and me to share. On our first date, David and I shared a strawberry lemonade and so it is sentimental to order one even if it isn’t our favorite. David chuckled when he thought about how cheap he must have seemed on our first date…we went to Ivanhoe’s and shared a strawberry lemonade. It told him
that I just thought it was sweet and didn’t think about him being cheap.David and I sat in the back room of Ivanhoe’s reminiscing about what we first noticed and liked about each other and the good conversation we had. We also spent some time talking about Zoe and the things that we look forward to experiencing with her. We tried to answer the questions assuming that Zoe would be healthy. I said that I look forward to holding Zoe and having her look at me and smile and know that I am her mommy. I look forward to talking with and singing to her and having her fall asleep in my arms as I rock her in her nursery. I also look forward to pushing her in her stroller and taking walks through the neighborhood. David said that he really looks forward to Zoe recognizing that he is daddy and he looks forward to taking her places with him…not in a way that he is showing her off but in a way that she will remember getting to go places with daddy…like the store and out to eat, etc. David also said that he especially looks forward to having her fall asleep on his chest.
After finishing our dinner, David suggested that I get a milkshake so that he could have some of it. So we stood in the long line and ordered a chocolate peanut butter something. It was a PB shake with a crushed Reese’s stick mixed in and a scoop of chocolate ice cream and Spanish peanuts on top. We ate the shake as we drove down to Taylor to continue our date. By the way, the shake was incredible.
Earlier in the day, I had suggested to David that we pray together at the Taylor prayer chapel. Unfortunately, when we got there, we discovered that it was locked. However, we decided to improvise and sat outside the prayer chapel on the bench just outside and prayed together there. We decided to pray for our relationship and for Zoe. I started out praying for our relationship and thanking God for the seven wonderful years he has brought us through. David followed and prayed more for our relationship and then for Zoe. He thanked God for her and prayed that he would heal her completely. I sat beside him and wept. It took a while for me to gain my composure enough to even pray for Zoe, but David and I just sat there patiently until I was able to talk. I pleaded with God that he would heal our little girl whom I have truly developed a relationship with. I begged Him to afford me the luxury to watch her grow and thrive. It was a very special time praying with David. As we walked away from the prayer chapel, we talked about the need to do things like this more often.
David and I completed our date by walking around the Taylor loop, which is just over a mile. We continued to talk and enjoy our time together. It was sweltering hot so we were not able to walk for too long. We left Taylor at about 9pm and headed back home to Muncie.
Anniversary day (7-25-05)…
I awoke earlier than David did…my internal clock does not seem to allow me to sleep in as much as I used to. I decided to make us breakfast in bed…Chocolate Chip pancakes for David and Blueberry pancakes for me. He really appreciated the gesture and always loves anything with chocolate. Later that morning, we exercised on our machines in the basement. It is still too hot to do much outside so it was best to exercise in the comfort of air conditioning. David and I both went into work at about 2pm. I saw 5 clients and then came home. Earlier today, David’s dad called and said that he would treat us to dinner at the restaurant of our choice. We decided to eat at Johnnie Carino’s…a great Italian restaurant in town. David had spicy shrimp and chicken and I had my favorite, chicken piccatta. Overall, David and I had a really enjoyable couple of days celebrating our anniversary. I feel like we are really connecting lately and we both absolutely love any amount of time we are able to spend together.
Saturday, July 23, 2005
A day at the lake (7-23-05)…
David and I took a group of 25 young adults from the church to Grandpa Smith’s lake cottage. I have been trying to be more social lately so I had previously determined that I would make the trip even if I didn’t totally feel like it. I think making that decision beforehand made it easier to stick to the decision.
It was so hot all day. I don’t think I ever stopped sweating. It seems that pregnancy has really lowered my heat tolerance especially in my face…with this tremendous heat, I feel so overheated. I sat around most of the day reading, talking with the others, and watching others play volleyball and ski. I would typically be playing volleyball as much as possible but I just didn’t feel like it was a good idea with the heat index being so high. After supper I finally felt it had cooled down just enough to take a walk. Jami, Brittany, and Karen decided to walk with me. We had a nice chat. Karen and Jami are really good about asking questions about Zoe and the pregnancy and though it is difficult for Brittany to ask questions, I know that she is very concerned and interested in my life. I really appreciate when people try and take interest in the difficulties I am currently facing. It makes me feel slightly more normal than I have been feeling lately.
Grandpa Smith was so cute all day. I think that he hugged and kissed me and asked how I was doing 5 or 6 times. It is obvious that he is concerned about me and David and wants to know how we are doing with the difficult pregnancy. Grandpa Smith lost a child a few months after he was born and it is apparent that he has greater understanding than a lot of people even if he doesn’t talk about it much. He just lets it be known through the hugs and kisses he offers. It was very sweet.
It was so hot all day. I don’t think I ever stopped sweating. It seems that pregnancy has really lowered my heat tolerance especially in my face…with this tremendous heat, I feel so overheated. I sat around most of the day reading, talking with the others, and watching others play volleyball and ski. I would typically be playing volleyball as much as possible but I just didn’t feel like it was a good idea with the heat index being so high. After supper I finally felt it had cooled down just enough to take a walk. Jami, Brittany, and Karen decided to walk with me. We had a nice chat. Karen and Jami are really good about asking questions about Zoe and the pregnancy and though it is difficult for Brittany to ask questions, I know that she is very concerned and interested in my life. I really appreciate when people try and take interest in the difficulties I am currently facing. It makes me feel slightly more normal than I have been feeling lately.
Grandpa Smith was so cute all day. I think that he hugged and kissed me and asked how I was doing 5 or 6 times. It is obvious that he is concerned about me and David and wants to know how we are doing with the difficult pregnancy. Grandpa Smith lost a child a few months after he was born and it is apparent that he has greater understanding than a lot of people even if he doesn’t talk about it much. He just lets it be known through the hugs and kisses he offers. It was very sweet.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Email Update to Friends
Email to friends (7-21-05)…
Hello friends. I hope that you are all doing well and are staying cool in this heat. I am not quite sure if the heat feels exaggerated because I am pregnant or if it is really this hot and humid.
I wanted to drop you all a quick message to let you know that our appointment (which will now be on Thursdays) went much smoother than last week’s saga. By the way, everyone was extremely apologetic for our experience. We were the first appointment of the day so we got in right away and the doctor came in just a short time after the ultrasound was started. Zoe is still doing well as far as we can tell. Her heart rate is 135bpm which is still within the average range. She is measuring about two weeks smaller than her gestational age but this is not a concern at this time. We were able to get some good 4D images from the ultrasound and we are able to tell that she is starting to put on a little bit of baby fat, though she is only weighing in at about 2lb 3 oz. She is still a mover and a shaker which at times makes it difficult to get clear images. But I am not complaining. I absolutely adore it every time I feel her move inside of me. Right now it feels as if she is doing neck rolls and I think I can actually tell that I am feeling her head from the outside of my stomach. She is still breech at this time but the doctor says that she can flip around all the way up to 36 weeks and I am currently just over 28 weeks.
The encouraging statement that sticks with David and I at this time is that Dr. Landwehr told us that he was talking with his colleagues about our situation and that none of them have every seen a baby with Trisomy 13 have a normal developing brain like Zoe seems to have. We praise God for that encouragement. Zoe continues to have some difficulties associated with her heart and we would like to ask that you continue to pray specifically for that.
The doctor does not feel that it is necessary for us to continue to see him every week so we will have an appointment in 2 weeks and then 2 weeks after that. At that time, I will be 32 weeks along and we will continue to see him every two weeks at that point...just like if we were having a normal pregnancy, which is a strange feeling for us.
Obviously, David and I are still worried about what will happen once Zoe is born. There is a lot of anxiety attached to that moment. Please pray for peace for us. You will be glad to know however, that though our lives still feel like a roller coaster at times, I no longer feel that I am riding in a submarine and fortunately we seem to have more better days than horrible days. Thank you again for your prayers now and in the future.
Thanks,
Christina
Hello friends. I hope that you are all doing well and are staying cool in this heat. I am not quite sure if the heat feels exaggerated because I am pregnant or if it is really this hot and humid.
I wanted to drop you all a quick message to let you know that our appointment (which will now be on Thursdays) went much smoother than last week’s saga. By the way, everyone was extremely apologetic for our experience. We were the first appointment of the day so we got in right away and the doctor came in just a short time after the ultrasound was started. Zoe is still doing well as far as we can tell. Her heart rate is 135bpm which is still within the average range. She is measuring about two weeks smaller than her gestational age but this is not a concern at this time. We were able to get some good 4D images from the ultrasound and we are able to tell that she is starting to put on a little bit of baby fat, though she is only weighing in at about 2lb 3 oz. She is still a mover and a shaker which at times makes it difficult to get clear images. But I am not complaining. I absolutely adore it every time I feel her move inside of me. Right now it feels as if she is doing neck rolls and I think I can actually tell that I am feeling her head from the outside of my stomach. She is still breech at this time but the doctor says that she can flip around all the way up to 36 weeks and I am currently just over 28 weeks.The encouraging statement that sticks with David and I at this time is that Dr. Landwehr told us that he was talking with his colleagues about our situation and that none of them have every seen a baby with Trisomy 13 have a normal developing brain like Zoe seems to have. We praise God for that encouragement. Zoe continues to have some difficulties associated with her heart and we would like to ask that you continue to pray specifically for that.
The doctor does not feel that it is necessary for us to continue to see him every week so we will have an appointment in 2 weeks and then 2 weeks after that. At that time, I will be 32 weeks along and we will continue to see him every two weeks at that point...just like if we were having a normal pregnancy, which is a strange feeling for us.
Obviously, David and I are still worried about what will happen once Zoe is born. There is a lot of anxiety attached to that moment. Please pray for peace for us. You will be glad to know however, that though our lives still feel like a roller coaster at times, I no longer feel that I am riding in a submarine and fortunately we seem to have more better days than horrible days. Thank you again for your prayers now and in the future.
Thanks,
Christina
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Flashbacks (7-17-05)…
It is amazing how quickly my thinking can go downhill. We were sitting in our small group discussion this evening and though I wasn’t very talkative, I thought that I was having a decent day. However, I found myself sitting on the couch with our friend Justin sitting across from me in a chair. Justin and Sandy came over to our house the day after we found out about Zoe’s condition and I sat on the couch with David and Justin sat across from us in that same chair. It was just like tonight except David was not sitting beside me and there were other people in the room. I found myself thinking back to the evening when David and I were talking to Justin and Sandy about Zoe. I was in the depths of the depression and hopelessness at that time and I could feel like I was falling back there, if even for a short time. I sat quiet with my hand on my stomach feeling Zoe, comforting her, while everyone else continued to discuss the topic around me. We ended in prayer and I quickly went to our master bath where I couldn’t help but cry. Am I never going to be able to feel Zoe move outside of my body? Will she live or will she die? Does anyone understand what I am feeling and the constant thoughts that go through my mind?
David came into the bathroom just a little while after I had exited the discussion and saw me crying. He hugged me and told me that I should just stay in our room while he says goodbye to everyone as they leave. David and I took a walk after everyone had left so that I could tell him about some of my thoughts. He just listened, which is exactly what I needed at that time.
David came into the bathroom just a little while after I had exited the discussion and saw me crying. He hugged me and told me that I should just stay in our room while he says goodbye to everyone as they leave. David and I took a walk after everyone had left so that I could tell him about some of my thoughts. He just listened, which is exactly what I needed at that time.
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Email Update to Friends
Hello Friends-
We had an interesting appointment on Wednesday. First of all, Zoe seems to be doing well. Her heart rate remains at around 150bpm which is encouraging. She continues to be in the breech position which means that the movements i feel in my ribs are her hands. She was moving like crazy during the ultrasound. Other than those details, I have little to report about Zoe from the ultrasound unfortunately.
When we arrived at the appointment on Wednesday, our tech asked if it would be okay if they tried out a new machine on us and she informed me that there would be an additional General Electric representative (for the new machine) in the room with us. Our tech told us that the GE person used to be an ultrasound tech as well. I didn't see a problem with it, thinking that maybe we would get to see some clearer images or find out more about Zoe. So, I agreed to the new machine. The other room was filled anyways because they had accidentally double booked. When we started the ultrasound, there were 7 people in the small room, 8 if you count Zoe. Most of them, besides David and I were more concerned about the new machine than they were about us at that time. The GE person was taking over the appointment trying to sell the machine to our tech. David even asked a couple of questions that were totally ignored. Well, it didn't take long until the amount of people, the stress, and lying on my back for so long, began to get to me. I told our tech I was feeling light-headed so she suggested I lay on my side. I laid there for a few minutes while they told us very little about Zoe and I still wasn't feeling much better. They suggested that I turn back on my back and they would raise the head of the bed a little thinking that would help. Shortly after that, I thought I was going to puke and then the room when black. They laid me on my left side, put wash cloths on my neck and head and within a few minutes I was feeling a lot better. My blood pressure was down to 80/40. They stopped the ultrasound and our nurse and another nurse were the only ones with us now. I think it was pretty clear that the situation was not the best for us. I was really disappointed that we didn't find out more about how she was doing. We are rescheduled for next Thursday, and our doctor will definitely be there this time. He had been called away for emergency procedures on Wednesday, so he was never in the room with us. So, it was a slightly dramatic day and one that we hope not to repeat. However, Zoe seems to still be doing well and we are extremely grateful for that.
On another note...we have begun preparing for Zoe to come home from the hospital. I realize that we have no guarantees that she will be able to, but I want to believe that she will. Last week, I scored on a rummage sale with lots of like-new girl clothes and over the last couple of days, I began painting the nursery.
Thank you again for your prayers and for spending the time reading these updates and investing in our lives and the life of Zoe. Though she is incredibly precious to us, we sense that she is also precious to you and we are extremely grateful for that.
Thank you again,
Christina
We had an interesting appointment on Wednesday. First of all, Zoe seems to be doing well. Her heart rate remains at around 150bpm which is encouraging. She continues to be in the breech position which means that the movements i feel in my ribs are her hands. She was moving like crazy during the ultrasound. Other than those details, I have little to report about Zoe from the ultrasound unfortunately.
When we arrived at the appointment on Wednesday, our tech asked if it would be okay if they tried out a new machine on us and she informed me that there would be an additional General Electric representative (for the new machine) in the room with us. Our tech told us that the GE person used to be an ultrasound tech as well. I didn't see a problem with it, thinking that maybe we would get to see some clearer images or find out more about Zoe. So, I agreed to the new machine. The other room was filled anyways because they had accidentally double booked. When we started the ultrasound, there were 7 people in the small room, 8 if you count Zoe. Most of them, besides David and I were more concerned about the new machine than they were about us at that time. The GE person was taking over the appointment trying to sell the machine to our tech. David even asked a couple of questions that were totally ignored. Well, it didn't take long until the amount of people, the stress, and lying on my back for so long, began to get to me. I told our tech I was feeling light-headed so she suggested I lay on my side. I laid there for a few minutes while they told us very little about Zoe and I still wasn't feeling much better. They suggested that I turn back on my back and they would raise the head of the bed a little thinking that would help. Shortly after that, I thought I was going to puke and then the room when black. They laid me on my left side, put wash cloths on my neck and head and within a few minutes I was feeling a lot better. My blood pressure was down to 80/40. They stopped the ultrasound and our nurse and another nurse were the only ones with us now. I think it was pretty clear that the situation was not the best for us. I was really disappointed that we didn't find out more about how she was doing. We are rescheduled for next Thursday, and our doctor will definitely be there this time. He had been called away for emergency procedures on Wednesday, so he was never in the room with us. So, it was a slightly dramatic day and one that we hope not to repeat. However, Zoe seems to still be doing well and we are extremely grateful for that.
On another note...we have begun preparing for Zoe to come home from the hospital. I realize that we have no guarantees that she will be able to, but I want to believe that she will. Last week, I scored on a rummage sale with lots of like-new girl clothes and over the last couple of days, I began painting the nursery.Thank you again for your prayers and for spending the time reading these updates and investing in our lives and the life of Zoe. Though she is incredibly precious to us, we sense that she is also precious to you and we are extremely grateful for that.
Thank you again,
Christina
Monday, July 4, 2005
The Fourth of July (7-4-05)…
David and I got up early intending to drive to Ohio to meet up with my family for the Van Wert July 4th Parade. We decided to forego the parade and just catch up with them for the cookout at noon and the rest of the daily festivities. Before we left, I rode my bicycle while David ran four miles. I really enjoy being with him on his runs and he appreciates the company and encouragement I provide. However, I am not sure how much longer I will feel comfortable on a bike. But for now, it is just slightly uncomfortable.
David and I quickly got ready after his run and took off for Ohio. My parents and the rest of my extended family were having a cookout at Uncle Kerry and Aunt Liz’s house. I think that they are always glad to have David and I show up at the family gatherings since it is usually questionable with our schedules and the distance we have to drive.
We had a nice time with our family. After lunch, we played a big game of whiffle ball. Practically everyone played except for grandpa. It seemed that everyone was trying to be protective of me since I am the “pregnant one”. I had Kelsea run for me once I got onto base. David says that I was the best hitter on our team. I am not sure that is totally true but I must admit that I did pretty well for a 31 year old, 6 months pregnant woman.
After hanging out at Liz and Kerry’s house for most of the day, David and I went to my parents’ house. Everyone else was planning to meet there at around 9:30pm to watch the fireworks from the front of mom and dad’s house. It was fun watching the fireworks, especially when it seems that it had been so long since David and I had seen a real show. Zoe was moving around a lot during the display. Maybe she was reacting to the noise…I am not quite sure. I put mom’s hand on my stomach thinking that she would be able to feel her move but it didn’t quite work. David, however, was able to feel some really strong kicks, which he thought was very cool.
It was a little more comfortable being around my family this time. A couple of people even engaged in conversations about my pregnancy, asking questions and showing concern. My parents told me that Aunt Liz had been asking about things that she could do to help out which made me feel like she really cared and made it easier to talk to her about things.
David and I quickly got ready after his run and took off for Ohio. My parents and the rest of my extended family were having a cookout at Uncle Kerry and Aunt Liz’s house. I think that they are always glad to have David and I show up at the family gatherings since it is usually questionable with our schedules and the distance we have to drive.
We had a nice time with our family. After lunch, we played a big game of whiffle ball. Practically everyone played except for grandpa. It seemed that everyone was trying to be protective of me since I am the “pregnant one”. I had Kelsea run for me once I got onto base. David says that I was the best hitter on our team. I am not sure that is totally true but I must admit that I did pretty well for a 31 year old, 6 months pregnant woman.
After hanging out at Liz and Kerry’s house for most of the day, David and I went to my parents’ house. Everyone else was planning to meet there at around 9:30pm to watch the fireworks from the front of mom and dad’s house. It was fun watching the fireworks, especially when it seems that it had been so long since David and I had seen a real show. Zoe was moving around a lot during the display. Maybe she was reacting to the noise…I am not quite sure. I put mom’s hand on my stomach thinking that she would be able to feel her move but it didn’t quite work. David, however, was able to feel some really strong kicks, which he thought was very cool.
It was a little more comfortable being around my family this time. A couple of people even engaged in conversations about my pregnancy, asking questions and showing concern. My parents told me that Aunt Liz had been asking about things that she could do to help out which made me feel like she really cared and made it easier to talk to her about things.
Sunday, July 3, 2005
Registering for the Baby Shower (7-3-05)…
Since asking Nichole to put on the baby shower before Zoe’s birth, I knew that I would need to register as soon as possible. Though I knew that it was not his favorite thing, David said that he would go with me to Target to register. I was very grateful for his company. David and I spent about 2 hours in Target and I feel that I accomplished a good portion of the task. It was a lot easier to do knowing that Zoe seems to be doing fairly well at the time. I don’t think I would have been able to emotionally handle it if she currently seemed to be going downhill. I actually was able to feel comfortable registering for items like onesies and videos that she wouldn’t be using until she is over 6 months old. I went through the bottle section and felt absolutely clueless. I know that I need to register for bottles and for breastfeeding supplies but I have absolutely no idea of what I need. I think that I will ask if someone can go back with me later this week to make sure I am doing all of this right.
Beside David’s side (7-3-05)…
Earlier this week, David spoke with the Church staff and asked if he could have the next month off from being up on the platform during Sunday services. His request was accepted with no resistance. So today, David and I were able to go to church together and he sat with me the entire service. It was so nice to have him by my side the entire time. It felt very safe with him. I believe that he was looking forward to being with me during service as much as I was looking forward to being with him. He commented afterwards about how nice it was to be together. David felt so freed up during service and felt that he was actually able to worship for the first time in a long time.
Friday, July 1, 2005
Email to friends (7-1-05)…
As always, David and I are grateful for your continued prayers, encouraging emails, and concern. We love you all very much and appreciate your involvement in our lives.
Our appointment went well this week. Zoe continues to be a trooper. Her heart rate was 150bpm. One of the main objectives for this ultrasound was to get measurements to see how well she is growing. Children with Trisomy 13 are usually very small. Zoe is measuring within a couple of weeks of her true gestational age and she is in the 47th percentile which is right at average. She is actually a whopping 1lb 11oz right now. An interesting measurement that was taken was the length of her foot and the length of her femur bone. For children with chromosomal abnormalities, generally their foot is stubby and the goal is that the two measurements would be close to the same. Zoe's foot and femur were the exact same.
Her brain continues to look good from what we can tell. She has all of the correct parts in the correct position. Often Trisomy 13 babies have abnormalities down the center of the brain/head/face. From what we can tell, Zoe is developing well. Her brain looks good. Her head seems to be the correct size and shape and her face appears normal. The doctor seems encouraged by what he sees as well.
We continue to thank God for the encouragement we receive. We are thankful for little Zoe and what God is doing in her. It is complicated to know how encouraged and hopeful we can be from what we are seeing but we are trying to accept the blessings we see as real blessings. We will have another appointment in 2 Wednesdays because our doctor is out of the office next Wednesday.
We are also grateful that last night we had private birthing classes. The nurses were so kind as to set them up for us so that we would not be with a group of individuals dealing with an entirely different kind of pregnancy. She was also able to talk to us about complications, what to expect in the best scenario and the worst scenario. I believe that it helped David and I both feel more prepared.
Thank you again for everything.
Christina
Our appointment went well this week. Zoe continues to be a trooper. Her heart rate was 150bpm. One of the main objectives for this ultrasound was to get measurements to see how well she is growing. Children with Trisomy 13 are usually very small. Zoe is measuring within a couple of weeks of her true gestational age and she is in the 47th percentile which is right at average. She is actually a whopping 1lb 11oz right now. An interesting measurement that was taken was the length of her foot and the length of her femur bone. For children with chromosomal abnormalities, generally their foot is stubby and the goal is that the two measurements would be close to the same. Zoe's foot and femur were the exact same.
Her brain continues to look good from what we can tell. She has all of the correct parts in the correct position. Often Trisomy 13 babies have abnormalities down the center of the brain/head/face. From what we can tell, Zoe is developing well. Her brain looks good. Her head seems to be the correct size and shape and her face appears normal. The doctor seems encouraged by what he sees as well.
We continue to thank God for the encouragement we receive. We are thankful for little Zoe and what God is doing in her. It is complicated to know how encouraged and hopeful we can be from what we are seeing but we are trying to accept the blessings we see as real blessings. We will have another appointment in 2 Wednesdays because our doctor is out of the office next Wednesday.
We are also grateful that last night we had private birthing classes. The nurses were so kind as to set them up for us so that we would not be with a group of individuals dealing with an entirely different kind of pregnancy. She was also able to talk to us about complications, what to expect in the best scenario and the worst scenario. I believe that it helped David and I both feel more prepared.
Thank you again for everything.
Christina
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