Loving life...

Amidst what seems to be a time of hustle and bustle, I am so thankful that our family has found the time to relax and "just be". I love time like that. My nature tends to be more of a "hurry up and get it done" type that tries to cram in as much as possible and this isn't always so endearing. My desire, however, is that I would be a person of simplicity, who is breathing slowly and deeply enough to enjoy the small things and notice each moment as unique. I sort of think my new found love of photography (sorry for the insult that is to individuals who are actually photographers) has actually helped me slow down and recognize and attend to the moment.

I have had such a wonderful time with my family over the past week. Of course, there have been family gatherings with laughter, food and special moments, but my favorite times have been those that I have been quieted enough to notice what is before me. This year, Jonah sang in the Christmas' choir. He LOVES to sing and often he loves to sing LOUD. Not so much during the choir performance. Jonah did manage to sing but he also was very intrigued by the band (especially the drums), finding mommy and daddy, and seeing what the other kids were doing. I remember Christmases of the past where I would find myself tearing up as I watched just how adorable the children's choir was. This year, I found myself filled with overwhelming joy for that little boy. I cannot begin to express the gratitude I have that God gave me that boy. God is teaching me more and more how much He loves me through experiencing my own love for Jonah...and sometimes it really is overwhelming.

I must also say that I am thankful for the people in my life that do the things that I love to be a part of but really don't enjoy orchestrating...like Christmas cookie decorating and sledding. Sure, I can lend a hand where needed but my favorite part is sitting back and watching it all take place and seeing the joy on the faces of those involved.

Jesus Birth (according to the Smiths)...

For several years now, on Christmas eve the Smiths have enjoyed reading the account of Jesus' birth (from Luke) and acting it out. Our cast used to consist of mostly adults and a kid or two and now the actors are primarily children. Judah has been the baby of the bunch for two Christmas' so he is a shoe in for the role of Baby Jesus. We aren't expecting any more babies soon so I am not sure how long Judah will be cast as the lead. My niece Hannah is a very nurturing Mary and is so excited to be able to play the role of a mother (which she cannot wait to be someday) and my nephew Josiah plays the role of Joseph. The three magi are played by Jonah and my nephews, Moses and Noah. David and Danny are in supporting roles and the story is narrated by my father-in-law, Al. I love traditions and this is one I hope continues for the rest of our lives!

Watch us here~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jD9xbrzL-tE

Christmas Joy...

This Christmas had to be one of the best we have experienced as a family. David and I are incredibly happy together. We adore our boys. And we have healed more and more from the pain life has brought us. I am so grateful for my family. As I decorate for Christmas, I am keenly aware that there are two stocking missing from under the tree, but in the same thought, I am grateful for the two that are there that I thought were not possible. Jonah and Judah are such sweethearts. Judah loves to be near me and Jonah is so expressive. He acts so surprised at the smallest things.

David and I got the biggest joy out of seeing Jonah open his gift this Christmas. He thought that Judah's baby drum set was the coolest...that is, until he saw the junior drum set that he got. He calls it his "Tom Drum Set" because Tom is the drummer at church that provided a drum lesson for his birthday. David and I have gotten concerts regularly and at this point, we are still surviving them. He typically assigns David to the guitar, Judah to the piano, and mommy to vocals. David and I are such suckers...last night we actually rearranged some of the furniture in our living room in order to find the perfect spot for the drum set. Of course we want everything to be just right so as to not impede in the training of our little drummer boy.

Transformations...

Recently, Al offered to purchase a bunk bed for the boys. Judah won't have the opportunity to use it for another year and he really doesn't understand what is happening to his bedroom, but Jonah asks us almost everyday when his bunk bed is coming. He is so excited that he has even asked me if we could go to the store and help them build it. This is a great exercise in patience however, because even though his cousins got theirs two weeks ago, I have a feeling that ours may not arrive for another couple of weeks.

Since learning that we would be getting the bunk bed, I have been thinking about how it is time to begin changing the nursery into a little boys' room. It was almost 5 years ago that I began changing the room from a guest room into a nursery. I had dreamt about how to decorate the nursery when I was pregnant with Zoe and I agonized over what to do after we found out her diagnoses. After some encouraging doctor's appointments, I decided that I would move forward with the decorating. The action of painting the nursery demonstrated my hope, however, I believe that my choice of a neutral color may have demonstrated my hesitation to believe. I never really knew if the nursery would be used by my little girl... While I was painting, David and I decided that we would paint Zoe's name on the wall. We wrote it in Greek and in English. Her name was always so beautiful to me and I love saying it and writing it as often as I can.

While painting the room last week, David reminded me that we should let the boys "paint" their names on the walls. Jonah took a few strokes while Judah tried to lick the paintbrush. I ended up writing the names of course. Jonah wanted to paint much more than he was able but fortunately, daddy found lots of big boy projects to keep him busy while I did the painting. He was so excited to see his new blue room, even if the bunk bed isn't in it. Judah...well, I think he knows something is different, but I am not really sure he cares!

My Baby is ONE!

Judah turned a year old today! Where does the time go. It seems like just yesterday that David and I were headed out the door bright and early for my scheduled c-section. I remember that I was so ready to meet Judah but that I was grieving for my Jonah and the change he would have to experience giving up his role as an only child and having to "split" the love and attention with his new brother.

Judah struggled during his first couple of days in the world. He had difficulty breathing due to a partially collapsed lung and he was born with a rarer form of mono that meant he not only had to be in the NICU but in isolation from the other babies. Judah had significant odds stacked against him (especially from the mono) but despite having an ear infection on his 1st birthday, he has proved to beat the odds.

Judah is my smiley baby. He has brought me so much joy. He is so cuddly and he quickly dives onto my lap any chance he gets. He is passionate as demonstrated is his beautiful happy demeanor that can quickly change into a fiery temper when he does not get what he wants. He has always been easily soothed by being held which I love to do even with the sore back that comes from holding him for long periods of time.

I truly cannot believe how quickly this past year has gone. Judah went from sleeping a couple of hours at a time to sleeping through the night, eating anything that we put in front of him, crawling, walking, and now almost running. He laughs out loud, plays peekaboo, likes to hide in drawers and pretends he is talking on mommy and daddy's cell phone. He is very entertaining. And his smile quickly reminds me that any stressful day is going to be alright.

One of my greatest joys over the past year has to be watching Jonah and Judah become buddies. Jonah is so sweet to Judah...helping him walk across the room, encouraging him when he does something new and being excited to see him when he wakes up from his naps. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE seeing them love one another and it only makes me excited for the things to come. I don't mean to sound unrealistic. I am fully aware that there will be times when they can't get away from one another fast enough. I can only pray that Jonah and Judah will be as great of friends as David and his brother are... Judah has been sick today. The sweetest moment of the day was when Jonah asked if he could lay beside Judah and so he crawled up onto my bed where Judah was sleeping and gentle put his arm around Judah telling him "it'll be okay little buddy". Ah, what more could I ask for? It makes me teary even recalling the moment.

Happy Birthday Judah. I love you so much!

Judah Walking...

It has been so cool to see Judah really get the "walking thing" over the last couple of days. He has transitioned into walking much more than crawling. Earlier, he was even trying to walk on top of our bed.

Birthday Celebration!

I love times when I can escape back to the computer for a few minutes. I especially love it when I have the opportunity to do so when David is entertaining the boys in the other room. I can hear every word and sound but I am out of sight and so they are fully content without mommy for a few minutes. I adore hearing the boys laugh with each other. A few times, Jonah must have even been tickling David because he was letting out the laugh that he laughs only when he is being tickled. It is pretty funny. I keep hearing loud thumps but I will trust that Jonah is safe as he is jumping off of whatever it is that David is allowing. It is really quite loud but I haven't heard any tears yet, so it must be okay?!? Ah, now they are reading books and David and Jonah are attempting to say Spanish words. What a great daddy! I love these moments when I can just sit here and enjoy the ways my boys interact with each other.

I can hardly believe how quickly Jonah and Judah are changing. Judah will be turning 1 on December 11th and we actually celebrated his birthday this weekend. He was so great watching him dig into his cake. He was not a bit shy about it. I recall Jonah sort of picking at his cake but Judah...he picked up the entire piece and I believe that he was trying to figure out how to get the entire thing in his mouth but it just wouldn't fit. I am sure that he would have eaten more had I given him a second serving. I feel that with yesterday came a new level of walking for him as well. Judah seemed quite confident in his new skill and seemed to want to prove it by walking with items in his hand, like Jonah's guitar and Jonah's drum stool. Not just little items but ones that could easily topple him over. He is becoming more and more stable nonetheless and soon I know that his walk will become a run.

Wow, the thumping is back and it is louder than ever. I believe David is still reading books and that Jonah, being a three year old, no longer can maintain his focus. He is jumping off of his bed... Such is my life with boys!

Whatever you do don't blink...

Some days I honestly feel that if I blink, I might just miss something...these days specifically with my boys. They are growing up so fast. Jonah is 3 and Judah is about to turn 1. We are actually celebrating his 1st birthday this weekend. Judah is walking all over the place and Jonah is becoming the sweetest ornery 3 year old I know.

I am amazed at how time passes so quickly. James 4:14 says "Your life is like the morning fog--it's here a little while, then it's gone." I think that morning fog is beautiful and mysterious. Yet, it is amazing that sometimes I miss it completely. Some days it appears and is gone before I have even taken the time to look outside of my windows. I do not want any day to be here and gone without being present in it. I want to notice life...I want to experience it fully...and that means the highs and the lows. If I were to say that I only wanted to feel the joys of life, I could name countless pains that I wouldn't trade for anything. I want to be conscious of my life and of the lives around me. I want to observe and yet I want to participate even when it hurts. I pray that my boys too will learn to live a life full of experience and that they will understand what it means to notice the morning fog.

Zoe Zola

The boys and I recently made a last minute trip to Ohio to see our favorite 6 month old little girl, Zoe Zo Zo...as Martha and Jonah like to call her. Martha has also gotten used to calling her Zoe Zola which is her Kituba middle name, a language spoken by Eric when he was growing up in Congo. Because Zoe is not that typical of a name, I don't use it that often except when I am speaking about my daughter, Zoe, or Martha's daughter Zoe. Each time I see Zoe and am able to hold her and interact with her, I find it all the more honoring and precious that Eric and Martha would choose to name their daughter after my beautiful Zoe. Zoe just keeps getting sweeter and sweeter. She is such a good baby who is extremely content just lying there smiling at you. Jonah adores Zoe Beth. He loves talking to her and even gave her a couple of drum concerts. I think she was pretty enamored by Jonah as well. Judah...well...he was very interested in Zoe except for the times when he was trying to eat her nose and touch her eyeballs. Zoe was a great sport!