Four Years Ago and Today

FOUR YEARS AGO

AND

TODAY

Today is Zoe's birthday. It has been a good day. I spent so much time over the past weeks and especially yesterday pouring our my thoughts and emotions that I feel like I was able to spend today celebrating the life of my precious little girl, Zoe Dawn Smith.

This morning, David, Jonah, Judah and I visited Zoe's grave before church. When we arrived, we noticed that someone had already been to her grave and had placed flowers in her vase. The flowers had a card tucked in them. They were from Tanya, Martha, Eric and Zoe Beth. The card and the sentiment attached to the gesture meant so much to me and David. David and I had also brought flowers...roses which we had taken from the rose bush planted in memory of David's mom. It is special and extremely significant to be able to place those flowers on Zoe's grave, connecting to of the most beautiful females we know. After giving Zoe her flowers, our family sang Happy Birthday to Zoe and we kissed the "O" (like we always do). It was so precious to see Jonah run up to kiss the "O" as soon as he could get out of the car. David told me later today that Jonah was actually going around kissing the "O's" on the other graves as well. I am sure that their mothers would have appreciated that gesture...

We spent some of the day looking at video of Zoe but much of the day was very normal, church, football, a nap and playing with the boys. Sometime before supper, I suggested to David that we give his brother and dad a call to see if they wanted to join us back at the cemetery for a walk and visit at Zoe's grave. We thought that we would end the evening getting ice cream in honor of Zoe's birthday. It was an enjoyable evening at the cemetery. Both times we were there today, there were practically no other vehicles and so we could let the kids roam free on the roads. In one area of the cemetery, the kids (plus David and Danny) found a huge mountain of mulch and enjoyed a climbing adventure. Josiah remarked that "this is the coolest" and we commented on how are kids have no fear of cemeteries but actually think they are fun to visit. After letting the kids run around in a grassy area, we decided to go back to Zoe's grave and sing Happy Birthday and kiss her "O" again before we left. I think that Josiah and Hannah could have spent the rest of the night kissing the "O". It was sweet to hear Hannah tell Zoe that she misses her, even though she was not even 2 when Zoe was born. Those kids are so adorable and it is so special to celebrate Zoe's life with them.